→ My love is pain ♕

I throw away a page filled with our memories,
And I make a promise again that I’ll erase you today.

I can’t do it, it’s like a habit, I can’t do it like I thought I could..
I can’t live, I can’t live, my heart is filled with love pain.
Since there are memories left in thoughtful places,
I’m searching for you again, you, you, love pain.

I can’t even erase you, I can’t even throw you away..
I endure another day again, I’m trapped inside of you..
My heart is just tired..
Why is a day without you so hard?
I can’t live, I can’t live, my heart is filled with love pain..
My unspeakable, indispensable,
Overflowing love pain..

You fill my room completely with your scent..
I want to know you.
Now you make me unable to do anything.
I hold back my tears.

Like fixing a bad habit from when you were young...
Erasing you would be like swallowing poisonous medicine..
I suppress more memories as much as the tears I’ve cried..

I can’t even erase you, I can’t even throw you away..
I endure another day again, I’m trapped inside of you..
My heart is just tired..
Why is a day without you so hard?
I can’t live, I can’t live..
My heart is filled with love pain..
My unspeakable, indispensable...
The unbreakable love of my life....

I can’t forget you, I can’t erase you..
Another day passes by, it hurts like a habit,
It hurts more today..
My heart that’s been trying to forget becomes weaker..
I can’t live, I can’t live, my heart is filled with love pain..
All you give is the scar of not being able to have you...
You’re my love pain..

Who should i trust now? What should i do now? I feel so confused. Why can't i be like James? Even when he's sad, he can be so happy go lucky. He said one day don't laugh will short one year of living. So since i wanted to die so badly, i shouldn't even laugh at all. Right? Nah i was just kidding. I hope everything is fiction...

Such a cute picture from 2009 xD

Today marks the second year. Well, how fast time flies! I miss those stupid moments~ I miss maple, i miss private server, i miss the old Audi i used to play, i miss the all the friends i used to have in audi. They gave me a lot of unforgettable memories.. If i had a time machine, i would wish to go back to the old times where I will spend my whole day playing Audi with them.. I was really a no life person back then! All I do was play and play and play.. I really miss being the GM in private server :D Haha.. I miss everything.. It has been more than a year or maybe two years.. Some of them probably don't remember me already.. But deep down inside me, there will always be this little thing that I will cherish and remember forever xx :)